New Premier League Season is really upon us

When I saw the notification on my phone, I initially thought it was playing tricks on me after all it’s called a smartphone. Over the last few weeks, something has been amiss in my small town of short buildings with brown iron sheets filled with people with even shorter dreams.  You can tell the football off season by the type of conversation in town the bulk which is built on annoying random topics that quickly die as soon as you join in until the scandal appears on the news, radio or filters through and pops up on your whatsapp feed. The boda boda cyclists are well mannered not causing chaos or running bets through the town.

During the last few weeks we have struggled to hold together threads of conversation so much we have turned into experts on anything, economy, war, science and even talking about the pitfalls of a politician from across the ocean that we don’t know much about.  Our contribution trying to Ugandanise everything using local examples.

Away from the conversation struggles so have been certain places like video halls, bars, hotels frequented by the young bodies filled with testosterone and Saturdays are days that come and go just like that. Bars, video halls have been so ignored it won’t be a surprise to find abandoned dirty sits, bars too have not been spared karaoke can’t fill the gap when bottles and tissue run out to throw at the poor girls singing away on stage after repeating all songs in the catalogue. Bars are emptied with one promise, we swearing never to come back.  Some bars have become creative though importing fine ladies from the next town, to milk everything I got on my pay day they have presented to us women after women with an array of curves and skin complexions that send you into fantasy world on stage their shows sold to mimic the nudes that appeared in my whatsapp feed with me as a witness to verify if those curves are for real as in the pictures. This trick has been played to the point it’s done luckily the season starting this weekend.


The problem with games on the first day of the season is the action on the huge screens is still very young punctuated by slow build ups.  With the emptiness of the action on the screen could by the idleness of the off season, watching such games leaves your brain searching for action which soon becomes the devils workshop. Small talk habits accumulated from off season sip out from everyone and crop up into arguments that start over most needles of topics things you could differentiate if only we paid attention. But who pays attention in the off season there are no arguments to win tomorrow or the other day in which rivals will slander our new buys.

Like typical human nature we turn to the odd bet who is wearing shirt number 9 is it Zalatan or Martial which was his number last season. I saw the picture the protestor begins pulling out his phone complete with a screen shot of Martial wearing number 9, the other opts to close the argumenta and flips his wallet and stacks his days earnings.The hall Tender can’t punctuate this fight new season demands new clients the guy at the door swallows the melee rather than throw out potential new clients. The loose minds, empty pockets of the tender everyone plays safe situation safe and throws out no one.

However one thing you can’t take away is new places TVs season really here so is drama that’s what football is a game running on testosterone that has been sleeping in limbo for two months. In our sleepy towns with no action, football is the main source of conversation, there is always a twist to add to a story take the glitz of the new season even before you step on the pitch the managers are box office material in their individual right I the premier league is really back and can’t wait for the roller coaster ride.


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