Karl Valentin as the barber in Mysteries of a Barbershop (1923). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Just had my periodic dose of hair cut nothing fancy like the Balotelli inspired Mohawks or the Arturo Vidal random cuts just a simple mop over my head by the barbers machine something that I call marine omukulu loosely translated “old marine” after the American seals. Like any ordinary barbershop downtown it’s littered with talk on all topics from relationships, family, and economy to anything abstract remember the rappers wrote their best rhythms at the barber’s chair that usually complements the random pictures hanging on the walls in the barbershop many carrying pictures with hairs I highly doubt the barber can cut even on his best days.
While there, a female customer dominated the conversation especially given her sex and the fact the all the barbershop workers were male so there was a chance every male ego tried to throw a random line not to go un-noticed it would work as a starting point next time you meet her at the local bar. She spoke of several things until she made an analysis that I have come to think and presume is true to save the least and runs through the male gene we are basically not loyal humans especially to brands like females my auntie has the same saloon lady since her days from university and that was over ten years ago. Back to the barbershop, the lady concluded the only time a man will return to a barber shop is if his having his beard shaped but otherwise there is a fat chance we will end up anywhere as long as there is a free seat, a working machine and a barber very much willing barber to cut my hair. Her reasoning men take care of only their beards nothing else
I had never thought about it in a such a way for starters am from that group that needs reminding to have my hair cut so I will probably run to the nearest open barbershop. My girlfriend on the other hand is the type to have a visit to the saloon marked clearly on her to-do-list for the month and it appears in our monthly budget while I only cut if there happens to be loose change from the shopping basket.
The price too plays a great deal in my luck of disloyalty to the barbershop unlike my girl I get no discounts for sticking it out with one barber because she gets opportunities to have special prices on new hair styles while me my cut is legendary and I got it from my dad. I remember many years ago every time we did go to the barbershop with dad and that was after days after days of complaints from mum over our shabby heads even when we tried our very best to comb, All he did was tell the barber to take it off without bargaining or anything. If we tried to bargain with the barber to shape it according to our then-stars, he would clearly shout you are not a woman put your head and we go home this makes it hard for me to be seen bargaining at the local barbershop. Also the barbershop there is so much scrutiny at what you doing, wearing and who you are fucking something that I don’t fancy at all so I rather head in and out of a barbershop un noticed and un seen especially if you are not doing well in the getting rich or die trying department no wonder women leave looking very confident after a new hairdo while for a man there is a chance you will leave wondering why all your age-ments are leaving you lagging behind on the road to riches since the barber will run you through a long list of who is building the four storey building at the corner, who just married his newest bride paying 45 cattle while you are gathering the confidence to even meet your girlfriends parents and future in-laws, will be contesting so instead of daring to have my confidence punctured by all this talk I rather visit a new random barber where it will be strictly business not conversation.
Lastly the only time probably I would be loyal to a barbershop would be maybe superstition if I get props for my new beard there is chance I will always return to the barbershop because even when I cut my hair to much the latest trend I never get any praise from my girl something I have to do every time she visits the saloon. If I visit you barbershop and happen to get some that weekend there is a fat chance I will be sticking to your barbershop however that relationship would end the moment I get mishandled, get cut by the machine or a rumor runs riot that Ebola is running through your café.