Gwyneth Paltrow at the 2000 Toronto International Film Festival (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay singer Chris Martin are to separate after more than 10 years of marriage in a lay mans language its usually the word DIVORCE that you will see in your local tabloid naye not this couple who met backstage…smell groupie here…..but for these two there divorce is buried in a sea of sweet complicated words like #consciousuncoupling sounds like poetry don’t on a rowdy night out when you also need to pull off a #consciousuncoupling from alcohol.
See divorce can be very stressful and we believe choosing and using a lawyer shouldn’t add to that stress Dr Habib Sadeghi and Dr Sherry Sami wrote about divorce as “a traumatic and difficult decision for all parties involved” and if those two gigantic words cant educate you then hang out with a Manchester united football club fan lately and it will be plain clear. Away from the celebrity word play who seriously would i want to see #consciousuncoupling they are very many the list is endless but i will take a few shots not of tequila as i consciously uncouple and co-parent.
For starters depending on where you are sitting its the some guy called David Moyes i would pay any legal fees to see him up rooted from Manchester united football club all together with his –average-ness and instill in someone new with at least the word idea in his vocabulary and a better sense of direction unlike that Malaysian plane flight MH37 so it can too #consciousuncoupling from the news so we start following our usual favorite series ‘desperate HOUSE-HUSBAND OF KAMPALA starring our lord Mayor a one Erias Lukwago’
Next up is anyone in the country Uganda who bears the tag of honorable, policy maker or any other complicated government job title that cant think beyond sex, body parts and its for eating. Since they were sworn in bills have been flirting between who are you sleeping with, how do you have sex, are you smoking with what is for eating they could all pull off a #consciousuncoupling by writing their resignation letters so we move on to other things much better like giving our cars #consciousuncoupling from the potholes, sewerage and dust in the city and did i talk about the loneliness lingering in my pocket due to unemployment.
Next up is a guy who said its for eating his been playing the #consciousuncoupling for ages specifically from 1986 anti we dont know when he was born problem his allergic to cameras and paparazzi, lives in Africa Uganda where time to watch TV electricity is usually off so we only see him in the print media where even there its pictures/images because we cant read and write thanks to his crappy education system that he has implemented, the crappy health system that cant let us concentrate in class for 1hr ask my kid brother he cant read and interpret 2X1 on his medical form and its all a true story. That man my friends is called Yoweri Kaguta Museven the president of the banana republic of Uganda with no pun intended.
Next is any one sending me a wedding meeting text message/sms they should all #consciousuncoupling from the idea if they are not ready. Every day i get text from kids who were behind me in class categorization asking me to bear over their weddings covering all the cracks an old man sees seated in phrases of but we love each other. That nonsense should stop and am deactivating the sms platform of my phone to stop receiving that kind of spam. Two days down the road they are crying at your feet like how could he cheat on me….blah blah well welcome to the real world where till death do us apart is a phrase not a pact.
There are many like Russia Vladimir Putin who has taken the bad man character synonymous with Russians from the movies to real life and now that his been through #consciousuncoupling from the G8 he can join the rest of us in the third world. Feel free to add the rest