My radio is my friend and it tells me things that I wanna hear or reject from here and far because in terms of size the world is still that wide amorphous ball that if you go very far you will probably fall off which we all do in our own little ways. So recently I was listening to radio and this peculiar caller talked of how he was having issues with his wife of ten years yup its ten years of ‘I do until’ blah blah does us what he does best. He says they have been married for close to ten years and they have no kid or even a slight glimmer of hope that that bundle of joy will pop out that black hole. They have ven after tried out all the tricks in the modern scientific books that make up the modern world and its over rated medical practices and their over worshipped success rate things still don’t want to look up. His even contemplating taking out a loan for some weirdly named scientific procedure that involves complicated machines and stuff along that stuff just to see her tummy balloon and her figure metamorphose into the body shape capital D from the devil worshipped legendary figure 8. Adoption has not been part of the agenda bordering taboo in their marriage leaving him contemplating playing an away match so as to score that life changing golden goal and its here that I come in.
Feels cruel but it could help
For starters kids in the African context aint just babies that move around the house messing up everything that catches their attention but its collateral, it’s the one thing you own in that marriage no matter how draconian that feels but it’s the reality. If she is not pushing out tots even the walls with their tenants the spiders go be asking what is that woman’s addition to this family apart from filling the backroom with smelly shit the other reasons why we get married well are all academic and only apply when you are faced with a big writing on the chalk board announcing you are remaining with 30 minutes to end of the examination. So in the beginning it will be fun and games and the excitement of having a little one coming into your lives or one life…..the man in this case since the woman aint that interested that much. However as time goes on there is going to be a problem when the bills come in and you start spending more time with the other woman who also happens to be the mother of that one kid……………….its complicated you can tell. The wife of the house will have no claim to anything that happens around the house as she is no better than the maid cleaning, eating and shitting. Life aint fair from the word get go.
When it comes to the adoption option I say you take this with the grip of your strongest hands and you can do that without juggling any legal dynamic and still feel no guilty. For starters we Africans we are blessed with that one relative distant or close who specializes in popping out tot after tot with reckless abandon of what it means to actually care for that kid. For starters in my family we are blessed with four of them so imagine the small unregistered kindergarten that’s not yet spotted by the eagle eyed ministry of education. Mr. I want I a child can begin by scanning through some of his much loathed relatives and pick out one kid to stay around the house starting with the school holidays and if possible stay with them over the long haul. We always do that in the African setting so well the white colonialist out of lack of words in their shallow dictionary opted to call it an extended family will at least it helped to cover up galling holes of who has no kid and who has a kid unlike today with the ever rising wall fences the silence if no kid is home make the place colder than a grave yard. If this doesn’t work or seem to push your agenda down her throat then probably you will need a corrupt survy government official who deals in the procurement department those fellas will sell anything to anyone.