Should I brag….of course I will I have sent a record 120 job application letters since leaving University last May, coupled with 30 minutes invested in drafting each and that is a record 3600 minutes of my life wasted hoping I will be invited for the damn interview at least that’s the first step of a successful job application only to pull out a success rate of just 3 interviews that is 2 minus the one I went for the other day. My out box is obese with mail but my inbox full of spam from a one zuckerberg thanks to that blue eyed monster but that’s not my topic for the day.
When you waste a whole lot of 3600 minutes, let’s pretend that’s just a few hours you kind of become immune to questions of whether the guy at the other end of the line got the letters or not. You start feeling like that revolutionary rapper locked up in a cage writing lyrics on the wall hoping somebody in the after life will make sense of it. So when I recently got a call from a one company I had applied to last year even the terms of reference of the job I had none and was taken back when I saw the job title “RECORDS SURVEY ASSISTANT something something” did I apply for that too??. Flipped the computer upside down but still got none about the job description even the company had pulled the job advert from their careers section on their website but before this excitement laced with expectation could settle in I held my breath for such a long time the germs in me started dieing by the millions like they reside in a place called Syria or Bongi in central African republic. What will I say at the interview because my last attempt is not worth remembering, how do those on the penal look, do they breathe the same air as me the questions kept flying back and forth. Even when I arrived at the venue of the interview, the organization and smartness threw the unprofessional look of my side hustle smack into the water I was misplaced from the word get go.
For the first time ever since I hit the job hunt trail I had never realized how unprepared I actually am for starters my side hustle does not involve pressed pants, ties and suits nor polished shoes. I only visit the barber if and only if the Vaseline I smear on the face starts to feel like grease being rubbed on a blanket when rubbed on my face. Selecting the pants I was to take to the face to face interviews was a choice of the ‘lesser evil the better’ the one trouser that is less dirty. One had never seen a flat iron nor wash in ages; the other had more creases than an old man who has seen it all and the third one had faded out like an over used 50,000 shilling Ugandan note all because my hustle runs on jeans, t-shirts and no thing else but a good mouth.
The shirt brought up more issues to handle as I work in t-shirts and thick jacket like am a boda boda ride shifting passengers on Kampala road. I chose the short sleeved one under the excuse it’s pretty hot these days and the interviewer will understand forgetting the golden rule smartness knows no weather and first impressions last a life time. Even before I could arrive for the interview I was already feeling naked even though I had clothes on my impression had the feeling of me wasting time in the name of the job hunt. And if you thought that was disappointing enough I had never realized that even my feet had outgrown me and the old shoes I wore on graduation night were no longer my size. To add salt to injury even the socks were not a pair but a piece of socks tucked deep in my sand draped shoes that had not seen a kick about in ages. Where its twin had gone don’t ask me it had been ages since I had even worn proper black office shoes which is the minimal standard in this part of the world. Every time a party invite came calling an excuse always propped up mysteriously or I got a quick deal and went for the money first. So when I wore my little shoes and jumped out of the house I could foot even a yard under the pain being experienced by each of my toes squeezing against the walls of the shoes. All through the journey in the taxi my feet lay next to my shoes breathing in as much fresh air as possible to relax the already over worked toes.
Lastly its funny how we all pretend the world is a small place just because we are busy tweeting from a certain location where we breath, shit and eat but the world is still large and amorphous with developments taking place here and there its easy to be left behind. When you put in context my city in the previous statement its easy to conclude that the city is small yet its too big if you are asked to pick out a certain office block and all you know is a place called KOLOLO but cant identify buildings, plot numbers and other items. Then cometh the ever changing addresses and new buildings that are taking foot in the city. Funny those who give directions in the city have the tendency to use the new building to direct you around the city. For example the guy on the phone will be like
‘……We are located next to acacia mall…………’
For starters the last time Acacia was named in an address was if the person was talking of an avenue which leaves the question did they turn the avenue into a mall all of a sudden?? I am really behind news you know
Don’t know but I will ask and hope I don’t get lost along the way for its one thing to tell people you are looking for a job but one thing we never realize is that we are actually never prepared to meet our destiny when the chance makes its way through the fog. But till then am not going to be very expectant of the job from the last interview but more to preparing myself because you can’t create a first impression unless you have the right toolssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss