Ugandan businesses Pretending to work online yet they are off it

I could start by complaining at what Obama said about Uganda and how we are complicate our relations with that !@#$%^&* country by passing the ‘Anti Gay Law’ but I won’t go there. Too many tweets about that topic don’t wan to be part of the band wagon instead I will throw stones at Ugandan businesses going digital read putting their businesses online as though the internet is a line of sorts.

Scroll through the many dailies and you will be welcomed by a flood of intelligently named businesses providing every thing from car sales, land title and travel passports in 5 minutes to a mobile spas…..yes I said a mobile spa now get your mind out of the gutter. Of course in the service market its taboo for a Ugandan business to offer one service that’s why a bank will also offer mobile money services and a public servant will offer juicy deals on land sales though don’t ask where he got it. Variety is in our DNA the more the better like our national motto reads don’t put your eggs in one basket not what you see on all legal government documents. Even the business contacts come in threes or five plus depending on what number your are interested in calling although there is a chance its that woman who works at the telecom company informing you how that number you just dialed is none existent on the network or will be miraculously ‘on’ after your beeped on it the first time and it was off. So if your call goes through you will be referred to one caller who refers you to the next and the chain goes on till you run out of phone credit unless you are #tokotarring like those chaps at orange Uganda cause no one ever puts up their 079 numbers for business.

Orange numbers are for the random sugar mummy not business

Then comes the Social trend now everyone wants a piece of the cherry putting up their business on facebook, twitter and websites or any site that claims to have many users like its veriefied. Well the first two work although getting a new post from the company whose services you just fell for will be like driving along Kampala roads not hitting a pothole….impossible just. Don’t call the emergency if you find their latest tweet dated 2010 yet is 2014 going 2015 don’t be left behind even NRM passed a resolution for 2016 yet its still 2014.

With the websites they are never on even though it’s well written out hit it into your browser and this what you get.

Its not your network but that’s how Ugandan business sites be doing business

That’s our normal business day. Yet they are business asking you to bless them with your hard earned shillings like how will I do business with you if you don’t have the time to verify if your site is up and running. If its umeme that’s the issue please keep offline and stick to verbal announcements at least we shall have an excuse for the low sales cause its useless adding a website to your Microsoft designed business card yet Google don’t know it at all.

That applies to the companies bragging to donate to us jobs with our 8 year experience in depositing application letters to random god forbid useless companies only for them to bounce leaving us with egg face.


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