I dont know much about the religious or what makes one fit for that bracket whether its the car or clothes or the size of offertory dumped in the church….i dont know. Neither do i get the why all fresh couples feel the urge to hang around the church yet you and i know the only reason you came to church was to get that marriage certificate just in case its time to split that property 50-50 and the last time you passed by was to confess to the priest after you had a late period after that drunk sex and thought you were pregnant. The next time you planned to pass church was at the unfortunate death of your dad and his remains where laid in church for the public to pay their last respects that’s if they had any left any way for that matter. Even you who is the grieved whats app shit about him. However i know one thing the church is a runway for we to display what we have or pretend to have. When and during courtship when legs are being spread and bottles of champagne are being tossed open we all don’t see them. Ask and and its nuh dont worry she just a girl i know!!!?????? until you make a cross on her when blows rain up your face. One thing that refuses to to leave the church apart from the pedophile priests is the class division. Walk into any church and there is a cloud of un natural law of who sits where and why???? Dont ask me….there are classes of the married and the singles who are the ‘ scam’ of the lot modern day Jezebels ready to rain terror in our ‘ happy marriages‘ as my large smile is testament to that.
These classes i don’t mind for me dumped in the low income sheep wont dump a whole months salary onto a religious wanker slinging dooms day parablew my way. One class how ever that’s gotten onto my nerves is the ‘look at my baby…..aint she beautiful’ class. These days the parking lot is crammed with family sedans and Johnsons and Johnson’s baby powder is always heavy in the air. Empty sits are heavy with baby bags. Couples sit strategically to throw stone at the co-habitors in church. Every where couples be sitting with a baby. Those who hit the baby making way early have them littering the place likes its a kindegatten for the under age.
However none of this lot seems to go above 8yrs. Do these kids suddenly back slide the moment they can read and write and realise that mummy and daddy were simply putting on a show at church??? That all they did was impress the priest to be the cream della cream of church going folk???? A chance at cheap counsel if the marriage hit the kalahari desert and fights erupted every where like its Somalia???? So that incase there are times of need they didnt have to tag along with an essay filled with apologies of skipped church mass as well identifications of who they are for if the priest saw you often then presumably would know you are his loyal folk.
The babies too who hang around the church in their infancy only to slip into the world of sin, drink and television. Wonder why they give them christian names yet all through courtship you sinned. Yes you did open her legs before the right time after all you didnt want to take sauce home you feared it may lack the nutrients. The baby armed with Jesus picture bible yet at home the television is glued to telenovelas where they kiss openly i find it un-godly of you my dear. So better to show your kid the life that made you than pretend to be an angel your baby will realise was a fallacy no wonder i dont go to church.