am waiting on much more serious bills to be tabled, like the #Rolex_bill to curb extortion by chapati sikaz #SomeoneTellKenya

How would you feel if you spent a fortune on your hair, nails, lips, eyes, legs and whatever else girls spend on and you walked into the room and nobody noticed? All the effort put into making sure that your cleavage looks right would have been wasted. Actually it is rude for me not to stare unless of cause if you have never worked along Nasser road where hustlers spend half their time with hands  holding their crotch and whistling staring at girls pass by  than counting money

Ladies, if you walk into a room and guys turn to look at you, better thank God. So many women out there would kill for a chance to have dudes stare and at least smile at them. Towakana! Truth be told, sometimes guys overdo it. It is at this point you hear them talking: “Eh! That ki-guy can stare bannange!” They may complain but deep down they feel good about themselves for its rude to hide clothes on any erotic body parts in heavy clothes pope Ratzinger resigned over that shit but way from that i would like to suggest my own set of bills our Mps should be working on…. instead of wasting time mbu mini skirt bill.


Respect my private space bill and this applies to every aspect of life. ever sat in a taxi and you busy tweeting on your ka-smart phone cooking up diss lines for a certain random Sheila Gashumba and some random dude next to you is busy sitting at angle 60 peeping into your phone screen. its not funny its my phone so you need not to elongate your big eyes trying to peep. The same applies to those who borrow to view an image in my phone and what was a request to view an image turns into a full blow SWAT invasion checking every thing in my phone sms, contacts with no warranty… MPs since you are idle check on that before i loose it like you already have.

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don’t peep into what’s mine

bill against guys from wearing Mohawks and those blouse tees called V-necks. Yeah lil wayne wears them in his videos, and every tom, dick and harry is picking on them but please mind you body structure. why should some one who looks like an inverted sweet potato be doing wearing a V-Neck shirt that’s like a mummy wrapping himself in Lazarus clothes or why should somebody pencil thin like Barbara Yata the former WBS presenter be doing wearing a V-Neck…wish you knew you look like a mother who is breast feeding and the collar is now giving way due to constant stretching to release the boob to feed that ever hungry small mouth. Same thing with Mohawks if you are 30+ and don’t have the skill in your finger to fit Balotelli please shave your head bald like Kaguta Musevei the Ugandan president to reflect you age.

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V-necks like these make you look like you done breast feeding

serious bills to be tabled, like the #Rolex_bill to curb extortion by chapati sikaz. see in Uganda we have this delicacy that is served under monopoly conditions by the Basoga tribe that lives along the Nile River but we are not complaining we love your innovation and a round of applause to them. But i am lately getting disappointed when you go to his stall and the first thing is to roll a small chapati the size of torn piece of paper and very transparent like grand mums petty coat mbu their is your rolex. Boss it gets even worse when he keeps rising the price every day mbu the price of flour has risen, atte i hear the eggs are now expensive surely i have not heard of the chicken complaining of increased rental fees to lay their eggs or the jiggers in you that they complaining of bad feeding so please style up before i take my petition to parliament so you can relax you arses in prison for a couple of months.

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chapatti sikaz don’t cheat us

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chapati sikas we love you but don’t take it for granted

Bill against random wedding meetings. now for this needs no explaining or anything alone that line. if you are not ready to get married with no cash at hand don’t be throwing around your poverty in the name of  the whole village sponsoring your sorry arse. We all have our own problems why should we be looking at our phone home screens and all we see is as sms from so and so inviting us to some random wedding. There are even those who send you customised invitation card with missing lines emphasising the need for you to fundraise with even a date unto when it stops being a pledge but turns into a date mbu please indicate the date you are paying this pledge. Please before i empty my tummy for some good feeding at your wedding give me a break with that wedding meeting game plan. Same thing does with those who call us for graduation meeting dude am not coming am saving my shoes for the job seeking hustle, combing the streets aint easy when you have to look for a job with one pair of shoes.

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how if feel whenever i get a wedding meeting invitation sms

The Straka needs a fashion sensitisation bill. seriously the last time i got marks for painting my self green, yellow and red was at during my nursery pre infant days when i was still playing with my crayons. Since then i have toned down on the colouring for am not a Christmas tree that i need to repaint my self to catch the seers eye. So our dear Mps as you sit their please cook up a bill to save our lovely sister by arming her a fashion advisers some thing along the likes of Silvia Awori or Arapapa models for if i ask for a certain Giorgio’s Armani expenses will be high yet we are all saving our monies to sponsor the presidents next Benz so please take my humble request seriously am caring for a sister here because i always get eye bleeds when i see her with yellow/red hair, blue jeans, green blouse, pink shoes and golden scarf at her shows.

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help, she not a colouring book

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help her to know fashion is not all about colour…leave that for the rainbow

NRM MPs need sensitisation bill this applies to our dear Mps who wear yellow socks because its NRM day and simply cant debate a bill but heckle when those who know to use their I pads get up to speak. They need  sensitisation seriously because it pains when your boss calls you thieves you show no emotion but you get up in arms when he labels you idiots. What is worse that’s what sensitisation will help take this country foreward. They also need sensitisation for its uncool to jump in the media band waggon when ever  a media story is selling in the public place like how did you late that rapper president increase his funding to 200bn but you couldn’t let the same guy increase the budget for pregnant mothers yet you are the majority??

MPS igonarant of #MiniSkirtBil detailsl

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its like they all applied with reckless regard for ability and its no longer fun

Bill against plain stupidity applies to anything you do wrong yet you know how the right thing is meant to be done. Like all those leaders who are building in the wetlands yet its them who set the punishment for any illegal constructions in the wetlands. Its also to those who go spitting and littering in the city and turn around in the evening complain about how the municipal authorities are not doing their work to keep the city clean. Also stupidity when you go peeing aimlessly every where yet there are designated areas to deposit you waste but are very fast to report to your local news station mbu tokoye sausage eno….meaning sewage seriously you deserve canes for its your D that’s dropping waste every where. Same thing for those in our football fraternity who are quick to blame the sacked football coach but cant blame themselves for Uganda not qualifying for Africa cup of nations yet all along you were in bed with him fucking up our country.

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throw waste through your car window and take the blame for the littering onto the municipal authorities

and lastly on the bill i propose is to Ban parliament itself  because  they are doing nothing there those lousy millionaire blood sucking dogs “mbu mini skirts” TUMBAVU any way hot chicks keep the ball rolling MINI SKIRTS OYEEE ba MPs bona bakatala, bafala, bamantavu you go die with you bills any way i have bill to pay these UMEME boys just knocked on my door and my internet ins burning down. till next time

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the default calendar date in parliament


One thought on “am waiting on much more serious bills to be tabled, like the #Rolex_bill to curb extortion by chapati sikaz #SomeoneTellKenya

  1. Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any tips and hints for inexperienced blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.


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