Wonder how Jesus provides a model for how to deal with sexuality yet he never had girlfriend, never had a wife or children

I think the most obvious
problems that I experience
between Christianity and the real
world are those that applied to
sex. Some Christians are fairly
relaxed about what the bible says,
but I am not. I am a sincere
Christian, trying to live as perfect
a life as I could (even though we
are saved not by good works, but
by God’s grace). One of the first
crisis’ I have had to experience is at age 24
when three of my best friends –
all Christians – got married.
Although I am also in love, and
almost couple of years later still
consider that girlfriend to be
possibly ‘the one’, I did not feel I
was ready to get married.
When the above relationship
ended, I sought comfort in the
bible and found none. In fact,
the strangest thing was that the
most relevant verse for me was
‘my God, my God, why have you
forsaken me.’
Fair enough, but I also believe
very strongly that fornication is
wrong.  And here Jesus does not
provide a model for how to deal
with sexuality, because as far as
we know, he never had girlfriend,
never had a wife or children, in
fact does not seem to
demonstrate sexual feelings of
any nature. As such, the most
important spectrum of humanity
is not modelled in the bible
through the life of Jesus at all.
Presumably it is more honourable
and divine for a Godman-figure
to remain a sort of revolutionary
bachelor. And a woman would
make Jesus look bad, and perhaps
ordinary. Really?
So how can one use the bible to
make moral choices, and often
very personal decisions that have
less to do with morality, and
more to do with sense and
sensibility? If we decide to have
sex outside of marriage, we have
to make a personal choice, and a
responsible one, and that relies
on the individual being mature.
Because in this respect, again, the
bible is no help other than to say
we should abstain completely
from sex until we are married.
But what if we only get married
at age 30?  Or 35? Abstain
through the best years of our
In any event, sex wasn’t the main
or only reason I
question my faith. But sex does
ask the individual to be
courageous, to individuate into
his own person, to make mature
decisions, and to think for
themselves. (Those who don’t
tend to have those not-on-
purpose babies, and in my
experience, I believe a third to a
half of people in our society are
conceived ‘accidentally’.  If this
number is wrong, the point is
that there are far more accidental
pregnancies than we realise. It is
one of the things many people
are too embarrassed to admit.)
But the strict discipline the bible
imposes on sex is exactly why
many people begin to keep
secrets, why there is so much
unnecessary subterfuge, which
then also makes them feel dirty,
and sinful, and best of all, guilty,
and all religions thrive on the
guilt feelings of their followers.
Another aspect to point out is
that some Christians believe that
their religion improved the status
of women.  As Bertrand Russell
says in his book ‘Why I am not a
Christian’, this claim “is one of
the grossest perversions of
history that is possible to make.”
Jesus himself and the bible seems
to advocate bachelorhood, but if
you burn with lust, to get
married.  There are also
innumerable verses that treat
woman as inferior objects,
including Eve constructed out of
a man’s rib, Eve taking the fall
(for man’s sinfulness) and Jesus
himself saying to his own mother:
Woman, what have I do to with


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