when you suffer heartbreak, only you know your situation, the bible certainly can’t offer advice.

What is your firsthand experience
of prayer? Of death? Of God?  Of
miracles? Of the afterlife? Of
the world? Of other Christians?
Of folks who aren’t Christians?
The creation/evolution of the
world, how did that happen (what
is the consensus of the world’s
smartest people?) Is there a soul?
How and why and when and who
wrote the bible? And eventually:
did Jesus really exist?
In terms of prayer, who changes,
God or me? (Answer: Me, which
means God does not have to be
What is my firsthand experience
of death? I may not have died,
but I know what it is like not to
exist.  How do I feel about not
existing 2236 years ago? I
couldn’t care less. I have no
emotional feelings about it
whatsoever. Death itself must
feel the same way – one is not
there to experience it.
Miracles? The pastor experience
is a clear case of miracle not
happening. I’ve experienced
some inexplicable things in my
life. I remember many people
praying for me, and doing very
well in those exams, but can one
really call that a miracle? No.
Where is heaven?  Can we go
there now? Why not? If it’s such
a paradise, why not kill ourselves
and go there immediately? What
does one do there?  How can the
energy of our bodies, our souls
(supposedly) maintain their
integrity and identities? Without
a brain, how can we be who we
are? Surely in heaven we don’t
have ID books, so what is there to
distinguish ourselves? If I think of
the people I know who are dead,
do I really imagine they are in
heaven? Do I really imagine that
I will form this silky field of
energy and join them in heaven,
or is that what I wish to feel?
My sense of the world is that it
seems to be a place created and
populated by man. And nowhere
is this sadder and more
disappointing than in religion.
We try to cow ourselves into
remaining children, and sheep,
and making the business of life
God’s business, his ‘mysterious
ways’, and we basically defect
from living into waiting to die in
order to go to heaven.
I began to see, that on average, I
disliked Christians, and found
them uncritical, and for some
reason, weak and unlikable
people. People who had sent
themselves off the playing fields
of life, and become observers,
and judges. I found Christians we
\ho were less fundamentalistic
more fun, and also, smarter. And
I could not help admiring those
who were totally untouched by
Christianity – or any religion.
They seemed to be living
unfettered lives, they seemed to
be happy and balanced and
connected to the world and
I began to realise simple, obvious
truths that the money we give to
the church pays for a pastor’s
salary, and that this had other
obvious implications (that if you
are being paid to say something
subjective, how unbiased are you
going to be?). I began to find
more and more people who had
been deeply ensconced in the
church, only to be rejected for
some problem. Sam Kineson is a
great example – a preacher who
became a memorable stand-up
comedian. But also many scholars
and pastors.  The hypocrisy of
Christians began to bother me


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