I hate the dreaded Christmas village church sermon

Every christmas their is an annoying ritual master minded by our parish priest targetting we the city dwellers because probably they think we are well paid. I have gone to my village each each year during christmas celebrations. The priest has the habit of making sure we stand out of the crowd. Special seats are identified for each of us from the adults to the little ones in the family. We are given the priviledge of introducing our selves despite the fact we come each year during christmas celebrations. Because of the way we sit all eyes are on us through out mass as though we came first before Jesus.
The mass is also extraordinarily long averaging a nerve wrecking 5 hours from the usual 2hours all with the aim of sucking the alien town visitors of what ever we have in our pockets. The priest’s sermon is punctuated with references to the ‘good’ things we have done for the village.
During times of offertory the baskets tends to slow down when it reaches our section taking hiccups at each person so you dont have an execuse not to drop in a coin.
Then come up the endless round of auctions that the priest holds in the name of raising funds for the church roof that seems to evet get repaired each year. He auctions every thing from chicken to farm produce like water melons, cabbages etc. The city dwellers are forced to buy them because its embarrasing as he keeps throwing those glances at our seats. This is on the back of a sermon about giving and how we need to give.
After the dreaded mass has snailed its way to the end comes the invitations for lunch as well as the church meetings to implement church programmes. Uncle said these meetings drag on for ages and involve them stacking lots of money on pledges and promises.
At home the priest simply carries the left overs of the sermon to the dining table. His prayer is like reading one of those boring English essays. And after meals he leaves those envelopes to the family head demanding for last years pledge and stubbornly hungs around waiting for that lift back to the parish headquaters which is really unfair for he has a parish vehicle.

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