why kidnapping is not Lucrative in Uganda

So Nigerians have moved the big dream from the silver screen to reality. They are literally kidnapping each left to right. The other day it was the mother of the Finance Minister and just recently a Nollywood artist got herself kidnapped. So technically this industry looks lucrative on the eye but is it possible to have it in Uganda. I dont think so and here is why . . . . . . . . . . . .

Our roads are blessed with potholes everywhere. Any hope of a get way mission suffers a still birth since the kidnappers will spend more time dodging potholes than covering more ground to escape the police.

We just built to spread rumours or wolokoso. We never seem to keep our nose in our business, always pocking other people’s business. If somebody got kidnapped and they are kept some where in the
neighbourhood. Somebody would still want to know what they are hiding in that building and the rumour mill begins.

Our celebrities are as broke as hell. One artist i know of had a ton of bling valued at a paltry 1million Uganda shillings who would want to kidnapp such a broke fella. Some other artists still crib in with their parents who would want to get entangled with such hence no lucrativeness in the industry.

Our Ghettos and slums where kidnapped people would be hidden flood like hell. Our slums are so special that even a slight drizzle will make the place flood. So if you happen to take a kidnapped person in the slums and it happened to rain, police wouldnt even bother looking for you they would simply wait for you downstream floating with your victims. This on assumption that the kidnappers are in for a quick buck and cant afford up scale hide outs.

All the likely kidnap victims are either sons or daughters of historicals who also happen to be Generals in the army. So make a mistake to touch one and you wont have police after your arse but it will be whole army battalions baying for your blood.

Am Ugandan and most of our relatives are nothing but stress factors, take away one you will have technically relieved me. You kidnapping one of my auntie so and so is like winning an all expenses paid trip on some distant Island hence i will be very grateful. Will even telephone God to add you blessings for the job well done.

Finally you know Uganda’s money has no value. If you set a price for ransom i will probably need a whole truck load for you to achieve any money worth plus by the time that truck snakes its way around our comingled traffic somebody will surely be smelling a rat already.


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