Today is world monkey day. A day stipulated for all monkey lovers, people and any one affiliated to the monkey business and in Uganda, the pearl we are blessed to have a super hip hop music group named The Baboon Forest made up of the serial word slingers like GNL Zamba, Mun*G and Big Trill. So I imagine the crazy fun in the camp given that today is their special special day off. So I have come up with items they should be doing to fulfil their big day out………………………………………………………
Sling poop at each other…………………this a favourite past time for any monkey and given today is their day off, it would be worthwhile if our super word slingers started slinging their poop at each other around baboon forest. The winner would probably be big tril, with his poorly approportinated body he would kill forest mates GNL and Mun*G. the studio cables, mics and all the other stuff would play in kind for our dear hairy friends going about their big day.
Get a facial…………………this a favourite past time for any Ugandan especially girls ever since our economy got liberalised and it would fit like a glove for our dearly black friends in the baboon forest camp having their facial hairs trimmed and aligned proper to stop looking like buses from Juba. Big tril would go in first and stop rocking that dark face like Besigye’s face. Mun*G would need care for his locks and GNL Zamba would need a blow dry for his wild mane so they all fit proper on that airtel advert for 5sms a day. Problem is they would eat the avocado thinking it was food for them, silly fellas.
Eat rolex and take a break from the vegetables………………see monkeys are omnivores who are the living version of those city dump sites. Well our dear fellows in baboon forest would use this big day to get introduced to the other delicacies like egg rolled in chapatti named ROLEX and the best guide for this is none other than Rudende of XfmUG radio. He would teach these tree flying chaps how to be religiously at one with this special Ugandan delicacy and take a break from gnawing on insects and grasshoppers called locally as nsenene.
Go and repent in church……………………monkeys are serially devious creatures who are as cunning as any creature known. Just look at their facial hair, it screams I will sell you a ticket to heaven. Mun*g claims to have his own Mun*G pattoo style robbed off Psy’s Gangnam style and claims he stays near the airport yet he is from the other side of Muyenga, Big Tril claims he has got ‘Air Conditioner’ AC in his coffin in his lyrics and rides all black like Besigye’s face though I saw him in red arsenal shirt, GNl Zamba claims he lives a large life that melts like blue band though I personally think it’s the kanzus he wears as T-shirts that live large hence with all these lies probably these dudes need to repent for real.
Not good at addition but good at subtraction……………..no monkey is good at math and that’s a fact but they are good at subtraction and if they are aware they should take the holiday to reflect to realise that Ruyonga is taking their field of play in Uganda hip hop scene. Hence our dear baboons and monkeys should be working up a master plan to counter this religious word slayer and slingers so as to win back their large monkey share of hip hop fun base.
Grooming and extra extra sex……………..I saved this for the last so you don’t love best but what do monkeys do best apart from grooming and fucking their tails off. Ever wondered why those large apes don’t have any tail. It’s the sex and D-location that takes place in their troops filled with them females. Hence our dear friends a can take this time off to experiment on new sex styles for Kama sutra has more styles and not only doggy that monkeys love the best.
Lastly those chaps can come and let their beady eyes crawl on my blog, they can imagine this is the forest………………booom boooom boooom.