things that made me go ohh this week #NewsRoundUp

Our dear MPs recently got themselves new Ipads to ease their work or what ever is left of it. So we phone one MP wondering what apps he had installed on the damn thing and all he said was, even new phones have Apps and downs. Too bad the village.

The biggest opposition group in Uganda has gotten themselves a new dude to waste time in 2016 president. Thats Mr Mugisha Muntu who replaces Kizza Besigye who will be expending his last energies running at the marathon after he failed to run for presidency.

The youngest MP was asked whether she was single or dating. Little girl who is only 19 by the way says she is contented and not available for any form of relationship. Too bad for we are dully informed she is single and sexting it with some random dude named Bosco. What a name gerriting it.

Recently we had a royal wedding from Toro in western Uganda. This kingdom with the mum dully named Best wonder what the daughter test like and the wedding was aired live or was it on Uganda’s Prefered Network UBC, our version of E! The only channel where you listen to the images not see them. Now even the Baganda Prince is getting married i hear, other days well he were just getting it and supplying D-capsules in his part of the hood. Go royals

Ha the Police force just got computerised breathlazers to tap the bio data of we Uganda ns since we be taking loads of alcahol like sailors. Problem the police have used the machines to stream porn from their potential client criminals as they specialise on the jingling body parts like boobs, the D that store the most alcahol.
Other are recording karaoke into the machines to kill the time to bad for the Uganda police.

Lastly Dr Besigye will be running his arse white during the marathon having confirmed it on D-friday. Well in preparation he checked behind his fridge and pulled out his James Bond suite and equipment like 3D glasses that can cover his humongously huge eye balls, the blue steriod bag and his captain America cap to deflate the burning Kampala heat. As motivation he bringing imaginary tear gas that he will imagine he is running away fron and K9 dogs that go be chasing. The finishing point will be the presidency having failed to walk to it i bet he is running to it

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