Are we this rural?

The day I picked up my kumbe what do they call them admission form? I got it amidst a bush not the Museveni one but the one monkey makes their children from. Because if it not for the local thinking way of the boda boda man I could have landed in the river Nile looking for a kapande saying welcome to BUSITEMA UNIVERSITY academic registrar’s office kubanga bambi they can’t afford such luxuries mbu am told.

Next up after being consulted by the gundi askari who was masquerading as the public relations officer of the campus who did a good job telling me the mansion for lecturers would acts as our hostel until our apartments were built I swallowed for the unknown.

I won’t go into my colleagues because they had swag from schools like kiwa. . . what and ofcause we had woofers, home theatres, ward robes and bambi my head went into limbo bwe duu like the way I finished the breast of my mother.

These people threw us into a bus because mbu procurement was yet to buy the tyres from Kisenyi. You know am told mobile money doesn’t work with Stanbic bank baguy. So you can imagine the noise chaos when nyendo was mixing nkashabas karaoke and omuzimu gwa nankya while I was chilling the swagged up person in sagali bumping to Iteso tunes.

The definition of privacy in sagali to was so bad that you couldn’t kiss a kagirl on your bed unless you wanted Mr. Kakungulu the English teacher to make you an error term during econometrics.

And if you thought that was bad bambi the other campuses were very innovative, they put bed sheets for walls mbu bricks copying that hima cement advert mbu walls never lie.

Kwegamba imagine if Uganda cranes were going to play at Namboole and coach nkugirentya was in action. You had to buy a radio because you couldn’t imagine a kasmall gal screaming louder than my radio mbu okello ozinta as the total rubia does its work

ironically given the fact the gal was pretending to be a cute gal yet her hostel is named the cage oba after who and since its walls are standing at 60 degrees like mr ochiengs belt when he tucks in.


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