if i were a pastor

always see people lining up in church under the spell of the holy spirit giving up all their money including their rent money to their pastor in hope of getting a blessing form the all mighty . others come with the hope of new jobs  and winning sexual favours from their bosses while some come to show bling
so i was wondering how the pastor be feeling as them lame people be bringing their hard earned money to his feet i exchange for shit he cant provide

he would start like this………………………………….
as the going gets toughDevil that cash they be coughing yearning for that deliverance i be promising Winking smilewhen am on the pulpit yawning  in my four wall tiled structure In lovecausing damage in their pockets and leaving fractures and since demand creates supply all i need is a bunch  of possessed Eye rolling smilehumans doing the animal courtship dance to blind the eye lids of my whole congregation shouting at the top of my voice i cloud off the ears to their straight thinking with every drip of my sweat on my fore head i be digging deeper into their pockets cleansingLaughing out loud it off all its contents coins, pledges and even land titles and for the ignorant am even taking their tuition because its cheaper to invest in ignorance than to flirt with Just kiddingeducation.
i don’t care whether you clothed in suits Hot smilebarely dressed in threads with years of toil falling off with every Thumbs upthread am charging you for every step i guide you in Secret telling smilefaith. step by step till you start depositing 10% of your earning in form of Crying facetax to my depository account so i keep rocking new custom made suits cause you don’t want the man mediating between you and God to be dressed like he go jerk god for your own blessings.
and when it come to the ladies i want you to  keep rocking Red heartskimpy cause it maintains a dimple on Gods blush so when i begin probing for them blessings of hunky rich men in your life he will keep it simple cause you are as good as you give.  the first rule of capitalism the bigger Moneythe miracle the higher the price so if you want a set of Punktwins better be prepared to let me split them twinnies   because talk is cheap and every body can afford. bit before make sure your heels 6inch tall cause when their minds get pornographic their energies wont get graphic to demand for shit when 5years later Sunthey worse than when they came to my church.
and to all the haters i don’t do Ninjahuman sacrifice but but i like to rock the Be right backice on my feet and since i heard some one got more whips than a run away slave am trying to own big doors than a run away grave  with custom Automade sits, my own hill top Workpad so them fundraising will be split into catalogues starting with those who offering highestMug ending with those who don’t recognise that God hate people who are stingy and if you cant give what belong to Caesar then why you in my churcBlack Sheeph.

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