always see people lining up in church under the spell of the holy spirit giving up all their money including their rent money to their pastor in hope of getting a blessing form the all mighty . others come with the hope of new jobs and winning sexual favours from their bosses while some come to show bling
so i was wondering how the pastor be feeling as them lame people be bringing their hard earned money to his feet i exchange for shit he cant provide
he would start like this………………………………….
as the going gets tough that cash they be coughing yearning for that deliverance i be promising when am on the pulpit yawning in my four wall tiled structure causing damage in their pockets and leaving fractures and since demand creates supply all i need is a bunch of possessed humans doing the animal courtship dance to blind the eye lids of my whole congregation shouting at the top of my voice i cloud off the ears to their straight thinking with every drip of my sweat on my fore head i be digging deeper into their pockets cleansing it off all its contents coins, pledges and even land titles and for the ignorant am even taking their tuition because its cheaper to invest in ignorance than to flirt with education.
i don’t care whether you clothed in suits barely dressed in threads with years of toil falling off with every thread am charging you for every step i guide you in faith. step by step till you start depositing 10% of your earning in form of tax to my depository account so i keep rocking new custom made suits cause you don’t want the man mediating between you and God to be dressed like he go jerk god for your own blessings.
and when it come to the ladies i want you to keep rocking skimpy cause it maintains a dimple on Gods blush so when i begin probing for them blessings of hunky rich men in your life he will keep it simple cause you are as good as you give. the first rule of capitalism the bigger the miracle the higher the price so if you want a set of twins better be prepared to let me split them twinnies because talk is cheap and every body can afford. bit before make sure your heels 6inch tall cause when their minds get pornographic their energies wont get graphic to demand for shit when 5years later they worse than when they came to my church.
and to all the haters i don’t do human sacrifice but but i like to rock the ice on my feet and since i heard some one got more whips than a run away slave am trying to own big doors than a run away grave with custom made sits, my own hill top pad so them fundraising will be split into catalogues starting with those who offering highest ending with those who don’t recognise that God hate people who are stingy and if you cant give what belong to Caesar then why you in my church.